Poetry Seven Share Pantoums

During the month of April the Poetry Seven spent their time working on the pantoum. Here is a description of the form.

The pantoum is a poem made up of stanzas of four lines where lines 2 and 4 of each stanza are repeated as lines 1 and 3 of the next stanza. The final stanza of a pantoum has an interesting twist. Lines 2 and 4 are the same as the 3rd and 1st of the first stanza, thereby using every line in the poem twice. 

Keep in mind that this form of poetry is of an indefinite length. It could be 3 stanzas, 4 stanzas or 20! 

(Adapted from The Teachers & Writers Handbook of Poetic Forms.)

There was no theme this time around, just two words--certainty and flight.

My very first thought was the phrase "certainties of flight." This made me think of birds and later, baby birds. I ended up writing many, many versions of a wood duck poem. In the first draft I shared with my sisters, the 2nd line of the 2nd stanza was "in trees that stretch so tall." I disliked "so tall" and wanted something like towering trees, but couldn't find a way to say it. Then it hit me that I was describing one nest and needed only one tree. So, I changed it to "in a tree that stretches tall." I still wasn't happy with the description, but wanted to keep the end rhyme because I liked where it took the poem. In the most recent version I picked a specific tree and chose the word sky for my end rhyme. This one change, of course, meant changes elsewhere. Without further ado, here are both poems, the first shared draft and my most recent revision.

Untitled Pantoum Draft V.1

Do wood duck ducklings dream of flight

when huddled in the nest together?

Picture the world from a dizzying height

while from the ground untethered?

Huddled in the nest together

in a tree that stretches tall

from the ground untethered

soon they’ll leap and fall

In a tree that stretches tall

high above the forest floor

brave young ducklings leap and fall

uncertain drop before they soar

High above the forest floor

looking down from a dizzying height

uncertain drop before they soar

wood duck ducklings dream of flight

Untitled Pantoum (Semi-Final Draft)

Do wood duck ducklings dream of flight

while huddled sleeping in their nest

the world below a glorious sight

the urge to jump for now suppressed

Huddled sleeping in their nest

red oak stretching toward the sky

the urge to jump can’t be suppressed

soon they’ll fall before they fly

Red oak stretching toward the sky

high above the forest floor

ducklings fall before they fly

uncertain drop before they soar

High above the forest floor

the world below a glorious sight

uncertain drop before they soar

wood duck ducklings dream of flight

Poems ©Tricia Stohr-Hunt, 2015. All rights reserved.

My writing of the above poem was inspired by something I saw several years ago while watching the BBC series Planet Earth. Of course, these are Mandarin ducks, but wood ducks have the exact same experience, and this jumping/falling from a great height stuck with me.

While working on the wood duck poem, the phrase "flight risk" kept popping into my head. When it took root and wouldn't leave, I started thinking about escaping small town life and began working on a second piece. Here is an early draft of this poem, also still a work in progress.

Flight Risk

She was a flight risk from the start
with dreams too big to be restrained
small town girl, big city heart
she sought an honest life unchained

With dreams too big to be restrained
by certainties of rural life
she sought an honest life unchained
wouldn’t be some farmer’s wife

Forget the certainties of life
she was reaching for the moon
refused to be some farmer’s wife
and disappeared one afternoon

She was reaching for the moon
small town girl, big city heart
she disappeared one afternoon
fled to chase a brand new start

Poem ©Tricia Stohr-Hunt, 2015. All rights reserved.

You can read the poems written by my Poetry Seven compatriots at the links below. 

• Tanita Davis - (as)certain flight
• Kelly Fineman - Twenty-two A Day and Untitled Pantoum
• Sara Lewis Holmes - I would let in the moon
• Laura Purdie Salas - Time for Flight
• Liz Garton Scanlon - So Much of Who You Are
• Andi Sibley - The Flight of Sons

I do hope you'll take some time to check out all the wonderful poetic things being shared and collected today by Ellen at Elementary Dear Reader. Happy poetry Friday friends!