Monday Poetry Stretch - Luc Bat

The Luc Bat is a Vietnamese form with a repeating rhyme scheme and lines of six and eight syllables. The rhyme scheme looks like this.

xxxxxA
xxxxxAxB
xxxxxB
xxxxxBxC
xxxxxC
xxxxxCxD

This form uses a climbing rhyme of sorts. There is no length requirement, only a need for the final syllable of the last line to link back to the initial rhyme (A).

You can read more about this form at The Poets Garret.

I wrote a luc bat for my ekphrastic poem last week. I didn't learn of the rule about linking back to the initial rhyme until I did some additional research on the form, so my first attempt wasn't exactly on point. Here I'm sharing the first and latest drafts.

Luc Bat First Draft
She’s no catch, this winged thing.
The roar of her voice sings, not sweet
but raw, a clawing beat.
Cover your ears, retreat … no run
before your end’s begun
before you are undone by scales,
beating wings, mournful wails,
those claws as sharp as nails. Beware!
Once fixed in her cold stare,
you will not have a prayer save one.
Remember that she’s done
in stone, of marble spun, a dream
locked in a silent scream.

Latest Revision
No prize this beast with wings,
the roar of her voice sings, not sweet
but raw, a clawing beat.
Cover your ears, retreat … no run
before your end’s begun
before you are undone by scales,
beating wings, mournful wails,
those claws as sharp as nails. Beware!
Once fixed in her cold stare,
you will not have a prayer save one.
Recall she's marble spun,
this myth that made men run, now stone
and beauty, fearsome thing.

Poems ©Tricia Stohr-Hunt, 2016. All rights reserved.

So, there's your challenge for the week. I hope you'll join me in writing a luc bat. Please share a link to your poem or the poem itself in the comments.