Monday, October 01, 2012

Monday Poetry Stretch - Personal Ad Poetry

When my issue of The Horn Book arrives in the mail I first turn to the last page. I know I should save it for last, but it's one of my favorite things about the magazine. In the January/February 2008 issue is an  Ad Hoc page by Alicia Potter that reads like the want ads. There are sections on Services Rendered, For Sale, Real Estate, and Personals. These are all perfect little puzzles that beg the reader to determine the books and characters alluded to by the writer. Here's an example.
FRENCH TWIST. Me, you, Paris? Contact Madeline at (011) 33-494-55-87-24.
Now just imagine how much fun this would be if it were written as poetry. 

I gave it a try and here's what I came up with. 
Winter sleeper, spring peeper.
Champion hopper, eyes copper.
Log squatter, loves water.
Eats flies, swimming prize
It needs work, but you get the picture. I tried to write it like the example above, but the lack of line breaks bothered me.

So, there's your challenge, to write a little personal ad poetry. Extra points to you if you can write about a character from children's literature. Leave me a note about your poem and I'll share the results in time for Poetry Friday. Have fun!


  1. Make Me an Offer

    Selling cheap: one tower,
    slightly used, good
    for singing practice
    and rappelling; one
    packet of bramble seeds
    like the dark ends
    of all sentences
    (sorry no rampion)
    and one very long
    ungrateful yellow braid.

    —Kate Coombs, 2012
    all rights reserved

  2. I love the Missed Connections ads in the back of the alternative weeklies. Here's one of my own.

    Missed Connections: You, on the Horse

    Last solstice,
    During the great snow,
    You stopped by my woods.
    I heard your horse’s bells,
    Caught their silver glint beneath
    The moon, discerned your snow-lit
    Cheek. I saw you there, I did.
    These woods are lonely.
    Come back soon.
    Come back soon.

    (c) Stephanie Parsley

  3. Ooh, love the two already shared! Snow-lit cheek. packet of bramble seeds like the dark ends of all sentences... Wow.


    One lifeboat

    Flat, functional
    Free of chandeliers

    But sturdy
    Inured to wishful thinking
    and icebergs

    --Laura Purdie Salas (all rights reserved)

    I just finished reading The Watch That Ends the Night: Voices from the Titanic!

  4. Hi Tricia ~ this was a fun stretch...loved all the previous offerings.

    DYE JOB.
    Need red hair
    to be raven black.
    I've tried
    but just can't
    imagine it away.
    Call Anne.
    If not sooner.

    © Carol Weis 2012, all rights reserved


    A few dings in the glass,
    a chip at the heel,
    only used once,
    a pretty good steal
    at the price.
    Ask for prince.

    ©2012 Jane Yolen all rights reserved


    A dog.
    Mine died in a race.

    (I miss Searchlight
    on my bed.
    I miss the way
    he licked my face.)

    I need a dog
    (not to replace)
    a dog to love
    a dog to play.

    If you have
    an extra dog
    Please call Willy.
    Call today.

    © Amy Ludwig VanDerwater

  7. WANTED:

    One rabbit hole,
    not too muddy, not too deep,
    suitable for a young girl’s
    slipping, sliding, falling
    to another world
    where all is whimsical, wild
    and wonderful—
    and she herself
    is magic.

    (c) jgk, 2012

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  9. WANT AD
    Floppy eared companion
    To accompany me for
    Long walks on sugar sand,
    Gazing at Mulberry sky with
    Shafts of phosphorescence
    While munching on vegan treats.
    Early riser preferred.
    Leash and scratching behind ears?
    Free of charge.

    Call now.
    Ask for Lonely Heart.

    (c) Charles Waters 2012 all rights reserved.