Friday, October 11, 2013

Poetry Friday - She Runs

Laura Salas has done a spectacular job in her poetry Friday introduction describing the Poetry Seven's recent foray into writing pantoums. The only requirement was the form and that we use the line “I’ve got better things to do than survive,” from Ani DiFranco’s song Swandive. I have the album this song is on, so I did not listen to it while I was writing for fear that my poem might too closely resemble the song.

I wish I could explain in some eloquent manner how this poem came to be. It actually began to form while I was walking to work and watching the many people jogging past me. I started thinking about how much I despise running (though I do it) and how it's always a struggle to finish the course I've set for myself. With the song lyric in mind, a desire to make the poem rhyme and move a bit like a runner, this is what I came up with. I did take some liberties with the lyric, but you can still see a bit of it in here.

Thanks to my poetry sisters for holding my feet to the fire and encouraging me not only to write, but to share.

She Runs

This day I am alive
up and racing with the sun
I’ll do better than survive
though I’ve only just begun

Up and racing with the sun
breathing morning’s sweet bouquet
I’ve only just begun
to watch the pavement slip away

Breathing morning’s sweet bouquet
clock the miles beneath my feet
watching pavement slip away
down a sleepy, city street

Clock the miles beneath my feet
breathing hard and fading fast
down a sleepy, city street
more mile markers passed

Breathing hard and fading fast
I’ll do better than survive
last mile marker passed
this day I am alive!


I hope you visit the other Poetry Seven blogs today and see how crazy talented these women are and how very different poems revolving around the same line can be. Here's where you'll find them.

Tanita S. Davis - The Mother Load
Kelly Fineman - On My List
Sara Lewis Holmes
Laura Purdie Salas - Buckled Bricks
Liz Garton Scanlon - And This, and This and  The Food Movement (2 poems!)
Andromeda Jazmon Sibley - Moth Sisters

While you're at Laura's place, don't forget to check out the rest of the Poetry Friday entries being shared this week. Happy poetry Friday all!

7 comments:

  1. Next time we do this, I'm going to work on a shorter set of iambs for my lines and see if I can get the bouncier, snappier tone yours has. I like this one, a lot. And, I laugh that you despise running but do it anyway... I've never taken running or all of those really hardcore exercise things serious, but ... I love that you pull this back around to the "I am alive" thing, and that just sings to me. L'Chaim! Here's to really feeling it.

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  2. I love your last stanza. "Breathing hard and fading fast" makes me smile every time. You pulled it off, girl!

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  3. I love this poem so much. And not just because I actually love running :)
    Thanks for playing, Tricia. It's so so so good to be reunited....

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  4. You could never tell from your poem that you despise running!
    Well done! I like your shorter lines, too!

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  5. You and Kelly know how to pull of those short lines. They're so wonderful here since they echo what you can only think in short, gasping breaths! I especially love the sounds here, and on top of the feet hitting pavement, I hear hard breath inhaled and exhaled throughout. Woohoo! You get a t-shirt, a banana, and a protein bar!

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  6. It's been fun reading these various pantoums. I love your brisk pace, just right for the theme, and all the aliveness!

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