It's Called Therapy

My accreditation review is almost over. To keep me going through stressful times, my colleagues sent me this gem this morning. Man, I love them.

To Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in."
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds". (Keep an eye out for FBI or IRS agents afterwards.)
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
8. Don t use any punctuation which seems to be an accepted format for people using e-mail on a regular basis and who really don't care how or what people think about their ability to communicate using the English language with the printed word.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat...use a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12. Sing along at the opera. (Be ready to duck).
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM wave it around and scream "I won! I won!" Then watch to see if others line up for your machine.
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner that, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity......send this e-mail to someone to make them smile. It's Called Therapy.

I'm smiling, and I hope you are too. I'll get back to my regularly scheduled program shortly. I promise.