Thursday, December 04, 2008

Poetry Stretch Results - Climbing Rhyme

The challenge this week was to write a climbing rhyme, or poem in which the position of the rhyming word changes from line to line. Here are the results.
Jane Yolen stopped by to share this poem.
    Nearing Winter

    The bare boned trees
    Bereft of bees, birds,
    Welcomes freeze with limbs
    Raised, sings hymns as
    Light dims, throwing shade.
Julie Larios from The Drift Record wrote two poems! The first strictly follows the structure of climbing rhymes and is called Heard Over the P.A. System at the Mall. The second poem uses the 4/3/2 rhyme position in separate 3-line stanzas. It is entitled Christmas.

Sam left this poem in the comments.
    Song of the Discount Scarf Weaver

    When warping the weft
    I'm often left with
    A cleft among thread.
    Wind in said gap
    Your head may freeze
    But remember please the
    sales policies. No refunds.
lirone from Words that sing shares a poem entitled Man in my mind.

douglas florian from Florian Cafe (check out the new banner on his blog!) stopped by to share this poem.
    Winter Night

    The squirrels all climb
    In hurried time all
    While I'm warm, snug
    As a bug and
    Mom hugs me twice-
    That feels nice, as
    House mice kiss-Bliss!
TadMack from Finding Wonderland left this poem in the comments.
    Tough, terse, family life:
    You endure strife, scenes,
    Weekends rife with rages...
    Spiked pressure gauges screech!
    Turning pages, breathing, steam
    Releases. You dream "somedays"
    Where clean calm reigns,
    Sans family strain, tensions
    Drain.
Laura Purdie Salas is fretting along with many others about the state of publishing in these tough economic times. Her poem is entitled Resignations, Restructuring, Layoffs, and Buyouts.

cloudscome from a wrung sponge shares a poem entitled End of the Day.
Here are the poems I wrote this week. I'm sharing two variations on the squirrel theme. Let me know which you like better.
Delicate flakes of lace
twirl through space to
swiftly erase fall’s last
canvas. Dancing fast across
fields vast and stark,
heralding the dark days
that mark the long
song of winter.

Untitled - Version 1
Dashing up and down
the leafless crown and
scarred brown bark, spry
bushy tails cry for
winter’s nigh again. Sigh.

Untitled - Version 2
Dashing up and down
the leafless crown of
squirrel town—pitter patter,
run skitter scatter, they
loudly chatter 'bout acorns.
It's not too late if you still want to play. Leave me a note about your poem and I'll add it to the list.

8 comments:

  1. Hi tricia, I'm going to try a climbing rhyme that starts with a climb, and also has squirrels near rhyming hurried and a kiss bliss rhyme ending.

    Winter Night

    The squirrels all climb
    In hurried time all
    While I'm warm, snug
    As a bug and
    Mom hugs me twice-
    That feels nice, as
    House mice kiss-Bliss!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Loved the clever double climb in 'Delicate flakes of lace...'
    Well done, you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's a challenge to write a climbing rhyme with meaning -- forcing depth into structure usually doesn't work for me. I'm still not sure if this works without coming off as either too dramatic or too trite, but I've just realized I've been fiddling with this for TWO HOURS now. Good grief.
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    Tough, terse, family life:
    You endure strife, scenes,
    Weekends rife with rages...
    Spiked pressure gauges screech!
    Turning pages, breathing, steam
    Releases. You dream "somedays"
    Where clean calm reigns,
    Sans family strain, tensions
    Drain.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I did a climbing rhyme this morning--nothing lovely like the ones shared here, but definitely a timely one: http://laurasalas.livejournal.com/115010.html

    Tanita, yours totally spoke to me. That is my life. Thank you for writing it.

    Wow--Jane Yolen started out with a bang--stunning. I'm off to feed the kids breakfast, and then I'll be back to properly read the others.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wow, Laura.
    You said yours wasn't lovely like all the rest, and that's what I thought of mine.

    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. These are really fabulous!! I am so stunned to read them all on what is a very grey day over here. I'm doing one for Friday Poetry, posting tomorrow morning. Thanks for the challenge and the inspiring company!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh thank you thank you for rounding-up all this good reading.

    ReplyDelete
  8. What a fine bunch of contributions!

    ReplyDelete