Ok. Hardest. Challenge. Ever. Seriously, I could not make these words fit together. I'm sure my sisters worked some serious magic, but not me. I started and discarded poems on turtles, spiked dinosaurs, hedgehogs, electric eels, and the cutest little Himalayan mouse-hare. I think my problem came because I had a hard time finding meaning beyond the literal for roof. While I could use spike and shadow relatively easily, I couldn't make roof fit, and ALL THREE WORDS were required.
**Sigh**
So, while I'm still noodling over this challenge, I only have one measly little poem to share. My offering is about this handsome guy, the Himalayan Monal (or the danphe, as he's known in Nepal).
Photo © Tambako the Jaguar
In the shadow of the Himalayas
near the roof of the world
the danphe sports a spike of
iridescent feathers on his head
surely he knows a colorful mohawk
attracts all sorts of ladies
Poem ©Tricia Stohr-Hunt, 2018. All rights reserved.
You can read the pieces written by my poetry sisters at the links below.
- Tanita Davis
- Kelly Fineman
- Liz Garton Scanlon
- Sara Lewis Holmes
- Laura Purdie Salas
- Andi Sibley - Andi's back! Woohoo!
Tricia, this is lovely! I can't believe you really struggled with it, because it flows so well. I love the change of mood from the first four lines to the final two (maybe a blank line between would give it even more impact--just a thought). Sorry you didn't enjoy the exercise, but I love what came out of it!
ReplyDeleteYes, great suggestion!
DeleteAnd I didn’t hate it, just found it oh so frustrating. I’m sufficiently challenged to keep at it, though.
Tricia.... This is a perfect poem! So it doesn't feel forced or challenged at all. And, I didn't know anything about the danphe!
ReplyDeleteHe's really just a pheasant, but he puts our boring North American species to shame. He's also the national bird of Nepal, so he's quite interesting. Of course, the female of the species can't compare. So typical in the bird world.
DeleteYou killed it! Extra points for all the research required. ;) Seriously, You got the right bird for those three words, and fit it into a beautiful little poem.
ReplyDeleteWhat a GORGEOUS wee bird! And I think the spacing even emphasizes all the more what a sly looker this guy is -- you look, you pause, then you say more. I really think you nailed it, though you did not! This was hard for EVERYONE.
ReplyDeleteThis is excellent! I think you used "roof” perfectly.
ReplyDeleteDespite your apologies, I think your poem is terrific--all three words work perfectly. Love the spike as mohawk, and the Himalayas as roof of the world.
ReplyDeleteI actually like it very much, Tricia, and love that you found an animal where you can use "roof". That's clever! Since I shared an animal book today that introduced a few new animals, I also love hearing about some other unusual animals that are new to me like your beautiful Himalayan Monal.
ReplyDeleteI think you did it quite well. I also wanted to say I love your triolet in The Poetry of US.
ReplyDeleteKnock knock knock knock what it does best,
ReplyDeleteOn an old oak tree, which is visible from my roof, towards the west.
Reverberating knocks under the shadow of oak,
And the company of family folks.
The beauty of the red spike,
The visual as if I am on a himalayan hike.
Btw this is on woodpecker
DeleteWhat an incredible bird, I've never seen one before, and I love the way you worked "roof" into the poem!
ReplyDeleteI agree with the above compliments...great poem for these words. You'd never know it was a toughie.
ReplyDeleteLove "roof of the world." (and this gorgeous bird!)
ReplyDeleteThat is one impressive looking bird--and your poem brings out his best side. Lovely job with the challenge. I've enjoyed reading the different offerings.
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh, which I wasn't expecting. As Laura said, you handled the mood shift wonderfully....and something about this bird being near the roof of the world made it seem even funnier that he would think he's TOPS with the ladies. (I'm impressed with your research, too!)
ReplyDelete