I'll admit that I wasn't particularly thrilled with this challenge. Don't get me wrong, I think Adelaide Crapsey's cinquain poems are genius. I love her work so much that I even visited her grave when I stopped to visit the graves of Frederick Douglass and Susan B. Anthony at Mount Hope Cemetery in Rochester, NY (my hometown).
In its simplest form, Crapsey's ciquain follows a syllabic pattern of 2 / 4 / 6 / 8 / 2.
However, the cinquain has long been used by (some) classroom teachers to "teach poetry" and in this form, it is most didactic and unpoetic. Yes, I said it. The Wikipedia entry on the elevenie reads like all those cinquain handouts I so loathe. This is the structure they recommend for this form.
| Row | Words | Content |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | 1 | A thought, an object, a colour, a smell or the like |
| 2 | 2 | What does the word from the first row do? |
| 3 | 3 | Where or how is the word of row 1? |
| 4 | 4 | What do you mean? |
| 5 | 1 | Conclusion: What results from all this? What is the outcome? |
Here is the way the cinquain is taught in schools. The purpose is generally "to help learners stretch and develop their creative writing skills in a structured formula while reviewing parts of speech." Instead of syllables, it uses word count, so it looks just like the elevenie.
Image from Free Cinquain Poem.
Here is a cinquain of Crapsey's. Note that it follows none of the conventions described above.
Niagara
Seen on a Night in November
How frail
Above the bulk
Of crashing water hangs,
Autumnal, evanescent, wan,
The moon.
I really don't understand how this beautiful poetic form morphed into a tool for teaching parts of speech. Suffice it to say that in calling this poem a "German cinquain," I was not very excited and a bit nervous about this challenge. At first, I tried to tell a story with my poems, but that approach generally didn't work for me. I also played around with adding German words. I wrote a lot of crap, but I also wrote a few poems I'm relatively pleased with. I'm sharing three poems, and because I like to break the rules, one of them is a reverse elfchen (1-4-3-2-1). The first poem is about my dad.
Gesundheit!
Our answer
to his loud
full-bodied and thunderous
sneezes
Peace?
Not yet.
Some say never.
Pray. Don't lose faith.
Hope.
Truths—
Climate change is real.
Life is short.
I love
you.
Poem ©Tricia Stohr-Hunt, 2023. All rights reserved.
You can read the pieces written by my Poetry Sisters at the links below.
- Tanita Davis
- Mary Lee Hahn
- Sara Lewis Holmes
- Kelly Ramsdell
- Laura Purdie Salas
- Liz Garton Scanlon
Do take some time to check out all the wonderful poetic things being shared and collected today by Michelle Kogan. Happy poetry Friday, friends!
OH TRICIA!!! First, thank you so much for the cinquain lesson/rant. I learned something and feel protectively righteous with you. But second, your poems are perfect. The first one made me laugh with visceral nostalgia, the second one made me ache, and the third one... wow. That ending. Love YOU too.
ReplyDeleteI love cinquains and have done them with students in young authors conferences, but never with that horrific set of rules imposed upon them. And I also ignored those rules for the elfchen. For me, the challenge of either form is saying something meaningful in each line while also using interesting words. I love Crapsey's cinquains. They're magical and moody and fabulous. Looks like you made your peace (haha) with the form, and I love the poem about your dad. Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteI share your disdain for the way cinquains are taught in (some) classrooms. Your elfchens are good examples of how not to follow the boring instructions. I especially love the third one, which fits the reversed form perfectly. Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteThese elfchen are all amazing! Even if you had to write a lot of other stuff to get to the good stuff--this is the good stuff!
ReplyDeleteI love Crapsey's work, too, Tricia, & rather fumbled along with the Elfchen. I did wonder if it's better in its original German? However, enjoyed your intro about people, this time teachers, making hard & fast rules. You've shown us that it's more interesting with a few personal choices. I love the idea of 'Frail, above the bulk' - really made me think! Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteTricia, thank you for sharing your thoughts and way to appreciate the cinquain with its beautiful way to present a thought via simplicity but style. Crapsey's poems are beauifully rendered. I just looked up other poems she wrote. They are marvelous. In the one above, I can see and hear the falls under a beautiful sky.
ReplyDeleteTruth! Truth! More Truth! I love learning the backdrop, but how I love the simple depth of your words. Thank you, Tricia!
ReplyDeleteTricia, I love cinquains but I know they are often taught incorrectly in schools. I never followed those ridiculous rules but lots of teachers who did. Your elfchens are lovely. I especially like the one about peace. Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteAll strong poems, powerful, and sensitive–I especially like your reverse elfchen. Thanks Tricia, and Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with your rant about parts-of-speech cinquains. Their non-poetic-ness ranks right up there with acrostics that are a list of random words that start with the letters in the striking line. I love your elfchen about your dad. I was just looking at his flies you gave me this afternoon!
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, yes--the awful things we do in trying to teach poetry in classrooms. I came across this post from ages ago, when my 21yo was in 3rd grade. https://myjuicylittleuniverse.blogspot.com/2012/06/cooling-off-and-catching-up.html
ReplyDeleteBut you Adelaided the heck out of your Elfchens, and the last one--printing it out and posting it on my bathroom mirror!
And Happy New Year to you and yours, Tricia!
ReplyDeleteI am one of those guilty teachers. I did teach the elfchen last week before our break and was pleased with some of my students' poems. Also there were those who refused to write in form and that's ok, too. I'm learning to accept whatever comes knowing that that's the real art of poetry, releasing thoughts onto the page. Thanks for your fun approach to breaking the rules.
ReplyDelete