Friday, August 22, 2008

Back to School with The Onion

One of these days I'm going to remember to put on a Depends™ BEFORE I begin reading a piece from The Onion. Here's the latest article that had my laughing until ... well, you get the idea.

Here's how it begins.
CARPENTERSVILLE, IL—Local first-grader Connor Bolduc, 6, experienced the first inkling of a coming lifetime of existential dread Monday upon recognizing his cruel destiny to participate in compulsory education for the better part of the next two decades, sources reported.
And ends.
The first of Bolduc's remaining 2,299 days of school will resume at 8 a.m. tomorrow. On the next 624 Sundays, he will also be forced to attend church.
Now go read the really funny stuff in between.


  1. I'll never forget my own Connor's declaration on the eve of 2nd grade:
    One more day until the boredom and humiliation begin all over again!"

    : (

  2. Oh, Tricia, I'm still laughing! That was great.

  3. I really think this is very, very sad. How much more would this little guy learn by playing with his friends, building his tree fort, and watching bugs? Then snuggling up with Mom or Dad for a good read-aloud or having a family game or music night. Instead he's "burning daylight" learning to walk in line, sit still, and keep quiet. Childhood is so short.